Money

I've discovered something about myself since I left my husband. I like saving money. I enjoy obsessing over every penny coming in, and figuring out how quickly it should be going out. I love watching my savings account grow every paycheck, and closely watching my checking account to see if it shrinks. I take pleasure in figuring out how long it will take to save certain amounts of money, and how much interest I will be paid.

When I was married, we had a joint account. It was all "our" money, so I never really took much pleasure in the accumulation of wealth. Most of it was his anyway. When we split, I realized how little I actually considered to be mine. I don't know if I could have afforded to keep the car if he hadn't paid it off for me. There was no question of my keeping the house, it was well out of my financial abilities.

So now I'm having fun planning how I will buy things that will be mine. How expensive a mortgage could I afford, how much house do I want, how much of a down payment would I need to make so I can get that mortgage. I don't ever want to be in the situation again when I don't own anything. Where I can't actually lay claim to the things that are mine. No matter what happens in the future, I think I need to keep a sense of financial independence... I find it quite empowering.